The Newsletter
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: the new guy!
Topic: Keep on trying,

Has it really been 2 years?

 

New character: Joe Mayo!

 

Side-kick for this event: Slick Saran!!!

 

I see Mayo at front desk.....I like him.  He has been around the horn.  Does good work

 

except.....

his news letter contains a fatal flaw!

One measly wrong letter.  instead of 11 a.m.  it says 11 P. m.!!!!!

 

Only after the letter is printed (on special Christmas stock) do people notice error!!!!!!!

Now the issue is....how to fix this!!!!

Sparky and Mayo simply "x" out the bad letter. 10 to 15 have already been fixed, and are sealed in the addressed envelopes waitin' for a trip to the mailbox.

Then the Captain sees the flub!!!  "NO! You will re-print!  We do not make mistakes!"

Mayo smiles gets into his car...goes to get new stock for the re-print.

Captain gets into his car for blast-off "to Infinity...and beyond"!

Did I mention....Homer is amused ?

Did I mention that Slick Saran proof-read the newletter before it went to print the first time?!!!!!!

 

Its good to know, WE DON'T MAKE MISTAKES!

Back in the Saddle
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Add a new character or two.
Topic: Catching Up

So ... I am back to the yard blog.   So much has changed.   New characters...departed old ones.

 

I'll fill you in bit by bit.

 

Random incidents:  for today....humor in departure of Underachieving Dog.

 

Best remembered for having to blow into his car device to be allowed to start the car!!!!

He left because he refused to sand corian properly.  More accurately...he could not do any of his jobs properly!!!!!

 

I remember the incident when his wife left the house, went around the back of the house, stood on top of a bicyle seat, looked in the window and caught her husband looking at porn on the family computer!!!!!   So reveals everyone's character.

 

Nice kid...but had an underlying attitude.   Not being able to write English or to spell  was also a big handicap.

 

I saw him a couple of year's later.  Typical male like me....we were at the hardware store buying anniversary cards for our mates!!   On the day of....!!  Convenience wins out over thoughtful planning.

A true aposlte he will never be.  But he did stay slightly longer than a draftsman who only wanted to work 7:30 to 3!!!!!!

The Golden Child lays a Golden Egg
Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY ????
Topic: NEW EQUIPMENT DAY
What a great day. new equipment/ Kool!! But... wait...that means change!!!

I love it...stand off to the side and watch every one go to the golden child...one at a time to complain!!!!

It's always "this new equip. doesn/'t work"

What they mean is, "I'm too stupid to work equipment with a microchip."

Neither is true...but we are men and can't ask for directions!!


These are good tools...but watch how everyone gets in a huff!!! A lot of free entertainment~!!!!

BadNewsBill
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: KILLERBILL or Killer Cori
Topic: You Aren't Ready 4ME
Well gang, its been awhile and life goes on.

Illinois is still winning and I am grinning!

But now to the subject... The latest scoop the lates poop!

We all need help... but we don't always get the help we need...sometimes what we really need is a kick in the rear!!! Know what I mean?!!

So they send the new guy with limited corianne knowledge to do a job he was never trainned to do. and he actually saved the company's rear. By not doing the job the real professional should have done...he gave the professional an excuse for being late on finishing a long overdue job.

Oh yeah...the blame was clearly directed to him...but aLASS, the real blame lay elsewhere.

Gotta remember...always cover your rear,,watch your six,,look for cover before you leap.

But alls well that ends well...there was sweet vindication when the next virgin sacrifice went out to lend a hand...we haven't seen that employee since,


He told us that the worker in charge of his job had a bad attitude.And that we aren't ready for him yet.

He never made a mistake!! but all the rest of us did!!! Kinda like the proud parent watching his kid in the marching band. "Oh look! My boy is the only one in step!!"



Tomorrow...THE GOLDEN CHILD RETURNS!!!

Ole Gumm is gone!!!
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: "ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST"
Topic: BYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE
it had to happen....sooner or later....

After a couple of frustrating months of work that was not to his liking...he discovered another job.

That leaves us short one qualified worker...and no one qualified to liven things up the way Gumm did!!!

But he didn't leave us empty handed. oh no....

On his next to the last day at work...he managed to get another member of the the e-team mad. How?

He suggested a prank that no rationale person could do. But the thought of it was pretty funny...It involved food stuff that would create some bathroom humor. And that thought alone made GOAT come unglued. Gumm was reprimanded because of a thought not by some action!!!!

He told GOAT to put it where the sun don't shine....and we got an office meeting about the severity of pranks. NONE HAPPENED!!! for crying out loud.


Well...the meeting was pretty mild and a total waste of time.

Now we are asked to sign out and tell people where we are going. I wonder how many times I can check out that I'm going to the same job site before someone notices. I've gone to River City north twice...wonder if I can check out to the some job at least 10 times...without actually going there!!!!!??


Well..Gumm...we wish you well...hope to hear good things about you. Next installment will be about Gumm getting his brother-in-law to call in and pretend he is an irate customer!!! Good Stuff!

Grumpy and Snow White
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Snow White comes to work with the 7 dwarfs
Topic: MIRROR ON THE WALL
HI HO...HI HO...It's off to work we go.....




So young snow white comes to work with us today. She is a quiet shy child with lots of future ahead of her.


But the first dwarf she meets is grumpy who for some strange un explained reason doesn't want her there.

When she comes into the break room...he shoves his unfinished meal into the fridge and charges out.

Marge (Homer's wife) thinks its because he can't scratch his crotch and belch with the "boys" anymore.

Here's the news, dimwit. when the ladies are around...men always perform and act better... with a few 5 cent bag exceptions.!!!!!


But don't worry...this is not a working girl...in one month she'll retire from the forest.

LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRECALL!!!...
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: The GUMM-GOLDEN CHILD AFFAIR
Topic: Rescued Coffee Mug
One fine day!!!

Homer is gone from the office all day. GUMM is up to his ususal light-hearted day making humor. Also quite adept as an instigator-professional!!

Today is GTO's birthday. As an enforced habit, you better bring treats for everyone to celebrate. And GTO did just that. A real treat, not store bought... bean/tacos/mexican/american crap dip.

BUT that's not the issue. GUMM gets the Golden Child into real hot not the seasoning trouble!!!!

"Let's prank Homer!!" Dip his favorite Coke coffee cup into the dip so that when this obviously blind and can't tell the difference guy picks up the cup...he will get dip all over his hand!!! OH YEAH...that's a plan!!!

Actually the two were too cheap to buy a 33 cent package of jello!!! Now that would have been funny and fun.


So they did the dastardly deed....but didn't think that GTO who shared the room with the coffee cup would notice??????????

Yep...he did! SO... Golden Child..he asks. Did you dip the handle of that bacteria ridden filthy coffee cup in my USDA mad cow disease free crap dip?

My ears still ring with the sound of the innocent answer from Golden Child. "NO...I really did use the laddle and spooned the dip on the handle", he said.


GTO quips, "Now I know you're lying....because I just now put the spoon out there with the dip!!!!!!!"





Adam and Eve had no greater feeling of naked guilt that moment than did Golden Child...!!! BUSTED!!!!

Sparky
Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: Introductions are in order!!
Topic: We all need help
I should try to introduce characters as the need arises. Of course, all these people are fictional and bear not resemblance to actual people living or dead. Sparky is a unique character. She's around the company of movers and shakers...but not part of the group... She is very energetic...but doesn't know all the business features of a typical man oriented business. Most hilarious moment: We have just spent 6 months building a window and door display to advertise our products.... (We used to have some salesman samples to demonstrate our products.) So a prospective customer calls the office and asks, "Do you have any window displays?" Sparky looks around and doesn't see the samples anymore...and says..."No..we don't have any displays!!!" She is a great asset///but could just have easily have been born blond.

the golden child gets fired!
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Episode I
Topic: Bye Bye from the Captain
I'm out on a service job when a get a code blue call from the Nerdery.

Golden Child has been fired for costing the company $ 5,000 smackers for computer repair.

THE GOLDEN EGG COMPUTER has crashed!! All documents and be retrieved. . . but only at personal sacrifice.

The general orders the disappearance of the Child and enraged pandemonium erupts. 5-cent bag is overjoyed.

I don't believe it. The Golden Child is fire-proof as a Leutienant.

The general leaves. TAPS plays in my mind.


Did He Ever Return